Sunday, March 20, 2016

Deep Thoughts

This year has got off to a crappy start in some ways. In others it's been pretty cool.  You never realize how powerless you can be until illness and disability hit you. Five weeks of coughing, losing sleep and then cracking a rib from coughing and being disabled right in you tracks. Every movement hurts. Every breath. Every fart, cough, burp, nose blown and BM, hurts. Even eating to some degree. But when you can't sleep for three days while your body adjusts, it just sucks on all levels.

You become grateful for the little things. Being able to lay down and get at least six hours without a sharp knife pain in you back, is one of them. You realize that:

  1. You have to lose weight.
  2. You have to really focus on your meditation practice so that you can bypass the nawing pain.
  3. You have to start exercising to get your back muscles back so that this doesn't happen again. Or at least to get it to the point where it takes more before it happens again.
  4. That you really need to focus on those things you've been putting off. Because something like this teaches you that it could have been worse and you might not ever get those things done if you had something more disabling happen to you.
  5. That the person that you married is there for you no matter what. Through thick and thin, you are a team and you'll do anything in you power to take care of the other person no matter what happens. That's pure gold right there and true unconditional love.
  6. That your animals know something is wrong and you need love and comfortable cuddles.
  7. That it's okay to show that scared child that's within you and that it's not being weak to cry or show it.  That this whole "toughen up and be a man" thing is horseshit.
  8. Happiness is found in your state of mind in the moment. The second you can breathe deeply without pain is a great moment.
  9. You will heal.
  10. You will get better.
  11. You will move on.
  12. And you will probably forget some of this stuff.
  13. But you have this blog entry to remind you.

So for now, rest, heal, focus and let go. Tomorrow will be there for you, as will all the stuff on your to-do list.  Positive thing for today? Pain has backed off a bit and coughing has almost subsided.


May you all find peace of some kind today.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Marching On!

Another day, another day, another day...

Yeah, and another blog post!  LOL  You know what?  I haven't done very well with blogging.  It has not been a focus like I wanted it to be.  A new year resolution of mine was to start blogging and writing again.  I have 4 blogs.  This one, a music review one, one for diabetic stress relief and one for Thoughts For The Day.  I'm going to try to take time for all 4 now.  It's not like I have to do these huge tomes of material, but sometimes I like to rant and share my store or what's going on inside me.  Big thing with me, was kick-starting my health plan again.

What was stopping me again?  Fear? Laziness? Doubt? A little of each. Laziness because of exhaustion from work and stress.  Fear of the pain of working out or starving myself with a diet and of people looking at me and judging me at the gym.  Doubt in the form of "is this going to work?", "I'm not good at keeping an exercise schedule" and "do I have what it takes to do this again?".  All mind memes.  Or what Richard Broadie coined as "Viruses of the Mind". (fascinating read, by the way) and brought to light in a big way, by late great author Wayne Dyer (RIP) in "Excuses Be Gone!".

In the past, you've read some posts of "trudging on" or "starting over again".  Yeah, that "stuff" has to stop.  I'm gonna or I should had to stop.  You can only should all over yourself so many times before should hits the fan.  I'm definitely committed this time.  Back in November, I touched 355 pounds again. I started to use MyFitnessPal again.  Even over the holidays I was keeping track of what I was eating when I took my two week vacation.  I still indulged myself in some fun holiday foods, but I didn't over do it, like I have in the past.  Today I am at 331 pounds.  24 pounds down from where I was just over 2 months ago.  I feel like I'm starting to see some descent progress.

We went out last weekend to the New Balance store in Batavia and I purchased a brand new pair of walking shoes and started to head to the Vaughn Athletic Center in Aurora after work to walk their great upstairs track.  The pain of starting a walking regimen again, sunk in, but I worked through it.  Still working through it as I type this.  My left hip is killing me this morning, but it's just a pain of getting back into exercise.  Going to push through it and do some stretching exercises in a bit,  because I'm starting to feel better walking again.  I love these new shoes too!!  The sales associate at New Balance was awesome.  It's one of the best experiences in a store, that I have had in a long time.
It feels good to write again.  Sharing my journey is something I've wanted to do all along.  Why?  Because maybe someone will get something out of it.  We can all get support, tips, hope, struggles, fears, happiness and insight from other's stories.  I love reading other people blogs and stories and interacting with them, when I get the chance.  Reading other blogs has given me so much inspiration and motivation to become introspective and move forward with my hopes and dreams as well.  Maybe someone will glean something from what I say.  If so, great; if not...well, it's just a platform for me to share.

Have a peaceful weekend everyone.  Stay safe on the East Coast from Jonas. Hunker down and read a good book. :)

Peace everyone,
Dave

Reading right now:
Success Principles by Jack Cornfield (updated version)
Excuses Be Gone! by Wayne Dyer (rereading)

Audible book:
Proven Guilty - Book 8 of The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher (excellent series)

Music that I can't stop listening too:
Les Friction - Les Friction - This is like an epic score album with vocals ala Freddy Mercury style.

Robert Jon & the Wreck - Glory Road - The best indie Southern Rock band.  This is their latest release and has some songwriting with great harmonies.  Title track is one of my favorite songs.

Two Steps From Hell - Invincible - The best epic score writers and my favorite album of theirs.

Jennifer Thomas - Winter Symphony - Jennifer is the best classical crossover composer in the world a great new holiday album but also a great Winter soundtrack.  Read my review.

Stein Thor - Skuggaskil - I can't say enough about this guy.  Everything he releases is magical.  This is mostly solo piano, until you get to track 9, with haunting flute and cello.  Stein is one of my favorite composers as well.

Lori Diamond & Fred Abatelli - Lifted - Beautiful music. Beautiful people.  Makes a beautiful album.  Takes me back to a time of great singer/songwriter music from the 70s.  Telling stories and soulfully singing some great music.  I think I have listened to this one album more in the last year than any other in my collection over the last 10.  Read my review.