The Miracle Morning Day 21 and Keto Day 43 The Return to Space

This last Thursday night into Friday morning at 3 am I stayed up to get the new Dave's Space Place in line the way I wanted it to play out.  This is part one of a change to the format.  Part two comes together next month.  I need to revert putting that together in the mornings after I do my personal development routine, so that I can continue to bring this to the airwaves (internet waves) again.

So, here are the things I have learned this week.

1. I miss doing Dave's Space Place, so it was worth putting in the time to bring it back the way I had originally envisioned it.

2. Get enough sleep.  I haven't been doing enough of this lately and it caught up to me this weekend. Destroying the forward progress I had already made in the prior week.

3. Cut back on the wine. Period.  I was doing so good with two glasses a night.  It needs to return to that.

4. Started the 5 Second Rule audio book.  Love this book and the author.  Truthful and blunt with a great sense of humor.  Reminds me of my friend Susan Ross.  Task: Reach out to Susan.  Haven't talked to her in about 18 months.

5. Using the 5 second rule, starting today. It really does work. :)  Stopped hitting the snooze button at 6:40 am.  LOL  Got up.  Made coffee.  Took a shower.  Now sitting here writing, drinking coffee. Took Xena out potty while in the middle of writing this.  5...4...3...2...1, Move!  It really does work.

6. Things I can't eat.  I thought it was the reduced sugar ketchup, but I just discussed with Mary that we had bread & butter pickles last night and that's what spiked my blood sugar to 159 this morning. Coconut bread with peanut butter (natural no sugar kind) also spiked me a few days ago, but it might have been something else too.

Focus for the Week

1. Align my eating back to a more Keto way of eating.  We are experimenting and finding what works and what doesn't, but I want to buckle down some more with my own plate and get back to burning the fat.  I'm sitting in the 340s and have been going up and down between 343 and 347 for the last two weeks.

2. I want to start making some recipes too and helping out with some cooking.  Time to make some menu plans and get focused and help out more.

3. Get back to my morning rituals.  I'm really digging The Miracle Morning way of doing things.  I've adapted some of it to my own way of doing the routine in the morning.  It's working for me beautifully.   More on that in a second.

4. Finish reading 5 Second Rule (listening on Audible actually)

5. Walk a little more (adding a little more each day), even just a little bit more.

6. Get the weights over to my desk so I can do a little light lifting when I get home.  Need to start incorporating my muscles back into my routine.

7. Seriously start tracking my food again.  It really does help to see how many carbs I've been eating and I got away from that the last two weeks. I know, "you really don't have to do that on this diet..." guess what, I want too.  I want to know what's working and what isn't.  Becoming more serious about this.  I liked not waking up with a blood sugar over 150 in the mornings and a 6.2 A1C at the doctor's office.  It's worth it to me now.

8. Get to the library this week.  We've been wanting too, so let's find time and make it work.

9. More focus on data science.

The Miracle Morning

The book that kicked me in the butt back in January, but didn't take hold till late May.  I love getting up at 5 am and I'm striving to hit a new goal of 4:30 am soon and then work to hitting 4 am if I can.  I love the time in the morning doing meditation, visualization, a little affirmation, reading and writing.  The Life SAVERS™ is what Hal Elrod calls them.

Silence (meditation)
Affirmations
Visualization
Exercise
Reading
Scribing (writing)

I wake up.  I do a little silent breathing mindfulness meditation for 5 minutes, then I listen to a binural beat audio called Zen12, which is a meditation recording that has 12 months to help train your brain to enter into deep meditation a little easier.  I absolutely love it!  It brings me into a calm and focused state.

Then, I use Learning Strategies Paraliminals for affirmations and visualization.  It's a form of self hypnosis kicked up a notch and I love it as well.

Exercise has been walking Xena in the morning.  I'm building up strength.  A lot of you don't know, but when I was tipping the 370 pound mark back on Father's day, I had the worst back problems.  I couldn't walk 20 feet without pain and without it going out.  And please don't reach out to me and say, "find a good chiropractor", a good chiropractor is what screwed my back up in the first place and the weight just added to that.  I love the guy and he's a good friend, but my back is worse for seeing a chiropractor.  It's not for everyone. Losing the weight will allow me to strengthen it with Yoga, stretching and some muscle building exercises that I can take on fully when I've dropped down to a certain point.  Want to see a success story on a bad back?  Go watch Tony Little's story, it's out on YouTube somewhere.

Reading.  I've been reading every morning  when I get up.  10 to 20 minutes.  Then I listen to Audible books in the car.  Right now its SJ Scott's newest book 10 Minute Mindfulness on Kindle.  It's a great read.  5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins is on my Audible player at the moment and like I said above, and excellent book and she reads it and adds her own inflection which I love!

Scribing, is a little tougher.  I've been writing this journal again.  I've been trying to write blog posts when I can.  I don't know if anyone really reads this or not, but if they do and get some inspiration or find a new book or thing to try that I write about, then great.  It's worth jotting it down.  If nothing else, as a record for myself to go back and read some day.

Now more about Dave's Space Place

There are a lot of reasons for bringing back this show.   I loved doing all these shows I had set up.  Independent Share was my baby.  It may make a return some day too, but not right now.  There is too much I need to weed out in my life to focus on that puppy again.  DSP is a little easier to put together and back at the beginning, I had some grander plans for it.  I've relaunched with part of that grander plan for part one.  Part two will include a stop at a spaceport to go to a jazz lounge and listen to some intergalactic jazz, then we will disembark and head back to Earth.

So why bring it back?

1. After selfishly dropping the shows to focus on career changes and writing, I realized just how much I missed it.  I needed it.  It was a place of relaxation, unwinding from the week, de-stressing, chilling and most of all; healing.

2. Along those same lines, I realized how everyone who hung out in that show missed and/or needed it.

3. There was a community that was built on that show.  Albeit a small one, it still let everyone come, hang out, be themselves and just get into the music.  They could chat, post meaningful quotes, tell jokes, pun around with each other or just listen in while surfing or even while hanging by the pool (as one person told me last night).  So, it brought folks together, which we need more of in this messed up world right now.  I know a few who hung out had disagreements, but I hope that those have been let go so that all can enjoy the "Space" now.  I will always allow people to express themselves, but a new rule in the chat room is if you have a beef with someone, take it offline, not in the chat.  It is a peaceful place and I do not wish that peace to be broken again.  I love everyone in there and only wish that folks love each other and get along and let go of past differences and give each other big old hugs at the end of the week.  Everyone is going through their own stuff and we need to love and respect that and hopefully think before we react and respond instead.  I'm guilty of this in the past and am stepping up to stop this going forward.

4. I let people's expressions get to me, as it came to a close.  Lashing out and taking out my own deep seeded issues I was going through, out on them.  Friends even.  I am not this kind of person.  I wasn't in a good place when I shut the shows down.  I needed some time to step away from all the shows and heal.  I am now in a better place both mentally and spiritually then I have been in years.  I own what I did and I hope that I am forgiven for this as I have already forgiven myself for doing so.

5. One of my life purposes (and please don't laugh at me for this, because I've always believed this) is to bring Light into other people's lives.  I've always felt this to be true and this show happens to do this on a bigger level.  There are two other shows that I dabbled in that followed this as well.  Musical Relaxation Station and Dave's Deep Space Place.  The first was solo piano and new age music, past and present and the latter was an ambient space music show, playing everything from meditation music to dark ambient soundscapes.  I intend to bring those back as well on a regular schedule, so stay tuned for announcements.  Both of these shows are also easy to put together for me, because the music just speaks to me in a way that I know how to tie them together with an ebb and flow to the playlist.

6. Lastly, and a little further down the road.  I still want to do a positive, new-agey talk show.  Allowing Mediums, Clairvoyants, Metaphysical Teachers, Healers and Yoga practitioners to have a place to speak about their gifts and to advertise their services.  Helping them help people.  Yeah, I know, why am I doing the "airy-fairy" stuff?  Because there is a lot there that I believe in.  It's not up for debate, it's my belief system and I feel the need to help out others somewhere down the road with this.  While I state that I am a Buddhist, I follow a more Buddhist philosophy.  I believe in a Source.  I do not label it with a name like everyone else.  I do not like to follow a religion, because I don't like what that entails.  So, love me for who I am and I will love you for who your are.  I belong to a Unitarian Universalist church, where they respect what everyone believes but come together for a common purpose of helping the world through Social Justice programs and just volunteering and serving others in need.  I am returning there today for a committee meeting for our communications team.  I have not been involved in this for a long time and need to step back in and up to be an active member of this church and what it stands for in my own way.

All this being said, there you have it.  I've been asked by several people why I was bringing it back and now you know.  There is a grander plan for these things and I feel the need deep down inside to do it now. The flame is burning bright and it is purple. (someone I know will get that reference and he will laugh really hard that I said that)

I wish everyone a very peaceful and stress free week.
Namaste

Day #22 and TMM

Checking in. It's Day #22.

Weight 344.2 (down 3 pounds)
Blood Sugars 107 (wow I haven't had sugars this low in years in the mornings)

Book finished: "Emergence" by Derek Rydall (excellent, highly recommend)

Car audio started: Jim Butcher's 1st book from the Codex Alera series "Furies of Calderon". Loving it so far. This is way different from The Dresden Files books, but so far it is really good.  Who knew that you could take a challenge from a fan about two lame subjects and write 6 books about it and have it become a best seller. (Pokemon and The Lost Roman Legion.  And just to be fair, it was lame in the fan's eyes)

New foods:

• Keto fried chicken - mmmmm...so good. 
• Keto riced cauliflower chicken soup.  Chicken and rice! OMG this is so good.
• Keto ice cream - heavy whipping cream, with strawberries and Splenda.  Mmmmm mmm good.

Starting tomorrow morning: The Miracle Morning 30 Day Challenge.  Yep, it's time.  I've put this off long enough.  I just watched a keynote by Hal Elrod that was his first one back after going through chemotherapy.  You know, it gave me that kick in the pants of "what the hell am I waiting for." Lots of great takeaways.  Here is the video if you want to watch.  He teaches the whole method of The Miracle Morning in this hour and shares his story.  He is an amazing inspiration.

So while Hal teaches the method here, I highly recommend getting his book for a lot of in-depth information on the Life S.A.V.E.R.S. and how to get the most out of them.  I've read through it twice now.  Something I don't normally do with a book.  I may go back and reference it from time to time, but I rarely reread something.  

Starting early tomorrow morning (5 am is my plan) I'll be doing

• S.ilence - 10 minutes of meditation with my Calm app.
• A.ffirmations - 10 minutes of affirmations with one of my Paraliminals recordings.
• V.isualization - 10 minutes of visualizing my weight loss and health recovery journey.
• E.xercise - 10 minutes of stretching and some form of exercise to get my heart rate up a little.
• R.eading - 10 minutes of reading from Jon Vroman's "The Front Row Factor".
• S.cribing - 10 minutes writing in my Diaro journal.

This will be the 60 minute routine (maybe more) to begin the day.  I'll report back in here on my blog as I go along with my weight loss and TMM (The Miracle Morning) journey.

Also, listen to Hal's podcast.  It's one of the best podcasts on the internet.  The diversity that he covers with subjects on success and self development is part of the reason I undertook this journey I'm now on.  I wouldn't have heard of Jon Vroman or Derek Rydall if I hadn't downloaded some of these podcasts to listen to on my commute.  I listen to podcasts in the morning on the way in and I listen to fiction on Audible in the afternoon drive to unwind in what is sometimes 2 1/2 hour traffic home.

Buy the book.  Try it out.  At least watch the video above.

Musical inspiration for the week. Lori Diamond & Fred Abatelli - "OM". I love this song. I did a video for them for this song that you can watch below. Great artists, excellent album and just the most kind and loving couple I've ever met in the indie market.  I used to play them on my radio show and now I listen to them at least once a day.

Have a peaceful and positive week everyone! 

Day #15

I decided to try something different today. Updating via the Blogger phone app.  Yeah, bad idea.  It didn't save, didn't upload and basically lost everything I typed.  Ah...live an learn.

So, Day 15.  Blood sugars 111 for fasting. Weigh-in 247.2 (another two pounds).

New foods tried.

Mashed Cauliflower. Oh boy, does this taste like mashed potatoes.  Yum.

Almond Flour Pizza Crust. OMG, this is so good.  Definitely a keeper.

Coconut Flour Bread.  First batch was weird.  My wife is retrying the recipe as I write this.

I'm also going to start sharing the reasons I'm switching to way of eating and getting healthy.

Reason #1 - I'd like to live longer.
Not only for me, but for my family.  I don't want to be kicking off early because Type 2 Diabetes takes my legs, kidneys, eyes and heart.  Nope, I'm going to fight this.  I have a clear vision now and it involves hiking, traveling and enjoying a more active lifestyle in the coming days.

I'll share more reasons in the weeks to come.

And now for a little inspirational music for the day.  From my musician friend Jennifer Thomas.  An uplifting piece of music that I have on my positive and motivational playlists for when I walk and work.  She has a new video coming out tomorrow that I will share when it's released.  If you don't own Jennifer's albums, go buy them.  You won't be disappointed.  Jennifer also has a Patreon page.  You can be part of the production of her latest videos and help support her as an artist.  Pretty cool perks she has too.  Have a peaceful and inspiring week everyone!

Day #8 - Firebird Rising

Day 8

Started off with a 113 blood glucose. (Yes!)  Weighed in at 349.2 pounds  That's 4 pounds since day 6.  Picking up more energy.

My portions have been getting smaller, because I become more satiated while eating.  We've done a little heavy whipping cream in our coffee and boy am I loving that!  So decadent.

I've started to track my numbers again in MyNetDiary.  I have used a lot of different calorie/macro trackers in the last 7 years. This one I always go back too, because there are no advertisements and I get to track my glucose levels. You can also track medications, but that feature needs a redesign. The reason I went back to it, is I wanted to see just how many fewer calories I'm consuming. Which yesterday, I came in about a 100 under budget.  I also set the carb goal to 20 a day and the other goals adjusted to fit.  Pretty cool feature.

I wonder why some of these tracker apps don't share information about Keto diets.  I paid for premium on this app which to me is worth it for all the great extra features you get and it's cheaper than MyFitnessPal.  That site/app still throws a ton of ads in front of you for Under Armour (who bought them) and the Premium membership is too high for what you get.  The database on MyNetDiary is better as well.  So if you're looking to check out a great tracking app/site, give it a try.
I didn't like any of the others I tried.  Spark People and Noom Weight Loss are good apps, but their database is lacking and I'm not a big fan of Noom's way of eating.  I've always kept the free account versions of all of these, just to get the newsletters, because there are always great tips.

Well, that's my app rant.  Just wanted to drop a post, because I'm excited as more weight melts away and my blood sugars are starting to stabilize.

The reason you see my blog name as Firebird Rising (someone asked me).  The Phoenix has always had great meaning to me.  When I was younger, my best friend used to write awesome superhero stories. (I always loved them Scott)  We chose our names. I can't remember his, but I love the name Vagas.  A football player had that as his last name.  I thought it was cool.  So my superhero name became Vagas Firebird.  It has stuck with me as a name online for years.  I love images and the story of the Phoenix and the chance to rebuild out of the ashes daily from the choices that might burn us down from the day before.  The picture is from  The Phoenix card which comes from the Hidden Realms Oracle deck by Colette Baron-Reid.  Beautiful deck.  Pictures and messages are amazing, if you're into that sort of thing.

So everyone have a peaceful and less stressful week.  I'll check back in next week at this time.

Day #6 - Pushing on through

So it's Day 6.  From reading blogs and groups on Facebook, plus reading some tips and techniques from DietDoctor.com; I've read that the first two weeks are the hardest as your body switches from carb burning to fat burning.  I have hit a few bumps, but nothing serious so far:

• Headaches
• A few leg cramps (but not bad)
• Lethargy (but not too much) 
• A few moments of constipation, but even that didn't last very long.

I started at 368 pounds.  This morning I weighed in at 353.8 pounds!  15 pounds down in 6 days.  Now, mind you, some of that is probably water weight, but it's a good start.  Things I'm starting to noticed:

A little more energy in the morning
Breathing easier
Back is going out less, but that will take some more weigh loss to correct
Able to walk a little further than I have been without being out of breath
I'm less hungry. That's the cool part.
My sugar cravings are subsiding.  We had one last night and did some berries in high fat Greek yogurt.  It was like ice cream...kinda.

I have not done my measurements.  I'm going to wait on that until the two week mark.  First day was 59" on the waist and 57" on the chest.

I took this week off as a Staycation, so that I could get adjusted to my new WOE (way of eating).

So far the menu has been:

• Burgers off the grill
• Broccoli with shredded cheddar and butter
• Eggs (I love eggs) scrambled, omelet and hard boiled for lunch
• Cottage Cheese - high fat
• Salads
• Chicken off the grill seasoned with Penzy's 4S (awesome spices)
• Alice Springs Chicken (grilled chicken, butter basted afterwards with sauteed mushrooms, bacon and topped with cheddar cheese.  A homemade kinda-honey-mustard made with Splenda, Real Mayo and Mustard) Good stuff.
• Some salami, hard cheese and olives as a snack while having a glass or two of Cabernet at night time.

Big difference is the blood sugars as well this week.  I started off between 130-150 range for fasting blood glucose levels over the last few weeks.  Each day it has steadily dropped.  128, 124, 110, 109, 103.  During the day, the range has been 75 to 95.  I've actually dropped off of Glimepiride and Byetta for now, because I was dropping low the first couple of days.  I'm still on my Metformin, Jardiance and Actos for right now.

I'm really enjoying this WOE.  It's also been super fun doing this with my wife.  As we traverse what works for us and what doesn't, it's been fun to explore our dietary options.

I also received my new phone this week, so that's been exciting too and we went and got our library cards as well.  I forget how much I love libraries. Ours is amazing too.  We might take a trip to the big one in downtown Aurora today.

Whew...I know, it's a lot for an update, but I'm really excited about where I'm going now.  I hope that everyone is having a great summer so far and I will keep everyone posted in the weeks to come.

Struggling But Waking Up

I'm not sure where things fell apart for me.  

You get up, you try to do your best in the world and regain something that you once had and it just seems so far out of reach.

I'm talking about my health.  Let me share, because it brings some perspective to me and might help someone else.

83 to 87 - around 200 to 215 pounds.  More active than I am now, that's for sure.  Nothing sport related.  

87 to 91 - shot up from 215 to 355.  Stress and emotional related eating. Quit smoking in 91.

91 to 92 - went on Richard Simmons Deal-a-meal went back down to 225 and was featured in his newsletter in 94.  

93 to 94 - became vegetarian, went down to 180.  Bones were showing.  Not health for my big boned body.

95 to 96 - gradually put on some weight again.  Still vegetarian, but brought it back up to 200 to 205 Walked at the Morton Arboretum a lot and all over Naperville during these 91 to 96 years.

97 to 99 - put a little weight on to play Jake in the Blues Brothers.  Went up to 235 to 245.  98 I went back to meat.  Smoked again till 99.  

00 to 04 - hovered between 245 and 260 drinking more, started smoking again in 2003.

05 to 08 - hovered between 260 and 280

2008 - Quit smoking for good this time.

08 to 10 - Boom, up to 380.  Smoking gone, no exercise and emotional eating from job tanking.  Add to that undiagnosed sleep apnea at the time.

11 to 12 - Dropped back down to 325 with low glycemic diet. A little walking.  Got my CPAP. Diagnosed Sleep Apnea and GERD.

2012 - 12/7/12 my D day.  Diagnosed Type 2 Diabetes.  A1C 11.2 Blood Sugar that morning was 582.

13 to 16 - Mild weight gain.  Various medications.  Swings down and then back up.  Went down to 298.  Went up to 335.  Hovered there.  Exercise all over the place.

2017 - A1C high, 5 medications and a new one that has made me gain weight back. Diabetic neuropathy (nerve pain in the feet).  My pants aren't closing very well, problems breathing, back goes out (and I mean severe lower back pain and spasms) when I walk more than a block.  My sugars were normal for a while, but now starting to run high again.  My A1C dropped down to 6.6 at my last visit. Managed diabetes range. Weight at the doctors office was 365.  Now 370 after a couple of weeks. Add to that the fact that I'm struggling with panic attacks, anxiety and depression, which I have started taking a medication for.  

So at 52, I'm a mess.  I get mixed signals about what I want to do and where I want to go with career. I get mixed feelings about what I want to learn and what I want to do for my health and well being. And I'm not talking mixed signals from others.  I'm talking mixed signals from my own dialog. 

"Yeah, wouldn't it be cool to go into Data Science."

My mind says, "you're too old to relearn all the math you need to know to even begin to be in this field."

"Yeah, wouldn't it be cool to write some novels and some self help books?"

My mind says "when are you going to find the time...what do you know that someone would want to know...you can't write self help, you're a mess, look how fat and old you are....no one wants to listen to a fat old guy." the fight goes on internally.  

Enter a book called "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod.  I started reading this last month and finished it pretty quickly.  I drank in the podcasts on his site, which are awesome.  Inspiring pods from Honoree Corder, Jon Vroman, Christine Hassler, Ryland Engelhart and Jon Berghoff to name a few.  Just incredible stuff.  I feel like a sponge right now.  Jon Vroman's book just came out called "The Front Row Factor".  I just spent my last couple of dollars that I had this week to get a copy of it. His interview with Jon Berghoff on the Achieve Your Goals podcast that is from Hal Elrod's site, was one of the most inspiring talks I've heard in years.  Not only that, but it's making me rethink a few things.  

I seem to be chasing after something that isn't there, instead of living in the moment and healing myself.  I got out of the radio shows, because I felt the need to shift my purpose.  I thought I knew what I wanted it to be, but I'm not so sure anymore.  So while I'm deep diving into what I want that to be when I grow up, I'll still be heading towards some form of Data Science, which I might only try to focus on one aspect of it.  A lot of what I already do, can be considered as data science, but it isn't labeled that at the moment.  It's always about semantics in IT and ADA (another damn acronym). 

The writing piece I really want to do, but we'll see where that leads too as well.  I think my big main focus for me is to get my health under control.  Lose the weight, exercise, meditate and eat healthy. I'm also going to start practicing the Miracle Morning.  If you have not read this book or have been mildly interested in reading it, I couldn't recommend it more.  It's what started this ball rolling.  Hal Elrod is a genuine guy.  He's also battling a rare form of cancer at the moment and Jon Berghoff has stepped into do his podcasts for him while he heals.  My gratitude for him is immense.  He's helped to wrench me out of my rut.  Mr. Vroman took it a step further last night, while I was stuck in deep traffic riding home.  I am really looking forward to diving into "The Front Row Factor".  If you are not familiar with Jon's foundation, The Front Row Foundation, go check it out.  It's a very cool Wish model.  

So, what about music?  Well, I'll always be creating music.  I'm just getting into working on a side project with a great songwriter.  So I'll keep you all informed as that becomes available.  I still want to do a duo performance project with my wonderful wife.  We'd like to do some ConcertWindow style shows and then start branching out into the community to perform at various venues in the area. Music is in my blood.  It always will be.  I have plans for a new piano album and a new ambient meditation album as well.  Plus I have always wanted to record a guided meditation.  Mike Sherrill has told me several times that I'd be good at putting people to sleep.  (said in his voice. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk) 

The mojo is working again.  Time to pull myself out of the quagmire that I have been stuck in for quite some time.  Time for the Sleeper to Awaken.  Stay with me my friends as the phoenix tries to rise from the ashes once again.  

"A person needs new experiences. It jars something deep inside, allowing them to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken." (Duke Leto Atreides - "Dune")

Marching On!

Another day, another day, another day...

Yeah, and another blog post!  LOL  You know what?  I haven't done very well with blogging.  It has not been a focus like I wanted it to be.  A new year resolution of mine was to start blogging and writing again.  I have 4 blogs.  This one, a music review one, one for diabetic stress relief and one for Thoughts For The Day.  I'm going to try to take time for all 4 now.  It's not like I have to do these huge tomes of material, but sometimes I like to rant and share my store or what's going on inside me.  Big thing with me, was kick-starting my health plan again.

What was stopping me again?  Fear? Laziness? Doubt? A little of each. Laziness because of exhaustion from work and stress.  Fear of the pain of working out or starving myself with a diet and of people looking at me and judging me at the gym.  Doubt in the form of "is this going to work?", "I'm not good at keeping an exercise schedule" and "do I have what it takes to do this again?".  All mind memes.  Or what Richard Broadie coined as "Viruses of the Mind". (fascinating read, by the way) and brought to light in a big way, by late great author Wayne Dyer (RIP) in "Excuses Be Gone!".

In the past, you've read some posts of "trudging on" or "starting over again".  Yeah, that "stuff" has to stop.  I'm gonna or I should had to stop.  You can only should all over yourself so many times before should hits the fan.  I'm definitely committed this time.  Back in November, I touched 355 pounds again. I started to use MyFitnessPal again.  Even over the holidays I was keeping track of what I was eating when I took my two week vacation.  I still indulged myself in some fun holiday foods, but I didn't over do it, like I have in the past.  Today I am at 331 pounds.  24 pounds down from where I was just over 2 months ago.  I feel like I'm starting to see some descent progress.

We went out last weekend to the New Balance store in Batavia and I purchased a brand new pair of walking shoes and started to head to the Vaughn Athletic Center in Aurora after work to walk their great upstairs track.  The pain of starting a walking regimen again, sunk in, but I worked through it.  Still working through it as I type this.  My left hip is killing me this morning, but it's just a pain of getting back into exercise.  Going to push through it and do some stretching exercises in a bit,  because I'm starting to feel better walking again.  I love these new shoes too!!  The sales associate at New Balance was awesome.  It's one of the best experiences in a store, that I have had in a long time.
It feels good to write again.  Sharing my journey is something I've wanted to do all along.  Why?  Because maybe someone will get something out of it.  We can all get support, tips, hope, struggles, fears, happiness and insight from other's stories.  I love reading other people blogs and stories and interacting with them, when I get the chance.  Reading other blogs has given me so much inspiration and motivation to become introspective and move forward with my hopes and dreams as well.  Maybe someone will glean something from what I say.  If so, great; if not...well, it's just a platform for me to share.

Have a peaceful weekend everyone.  Stay safe on the East Coast from Jonas. Hunker down and read a good book. :)

Peace everyone,
Dave

Reading right now:
Success Principles by Jack Cornfield (updated version)
Excuses Be Gone! by Wayne Dyer (rereading)

Audible book:
Proven Guilty - Book 8 of The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher (excellent series)

Music that I can't stop listening too:
Les Friction - Les Friction - This is like an epic score album with vocals ala Freddy Mercury style.

Robert Jon & the Wreck - Glory Road - The best indie Southern Rock band.  This is their latest release and has some songwriting with great harmonies.  Title track is one of my favorite songs.

Two Steps From Hell - Invincible - The best epic score writers and my favorite album of theirs.

Jennifer Thomas - Winter Symphony - Jennifer is the best classical crossover composer in the world a great new holiday album but also a great Winter soundtrack.  Read my review.

Stein Thor - Skuggaskil - I can't say enough about this guy.  Everything he releases is magical.  This is mostly solo piano, until you get to track 9, with haunting flute and cello.  Stein is one of my favorite composers as well.

Lori Diamond & Fred Abatelli - Lifted - Beautiful music. Beautiful people.  Makes a beautiful album.  Takes me back to a time of great singer/songwriter music from the 70s.  Telling stories and soulfully singing some great music.  I think I have listened to this one album more in the last year than any other in my collection over the last 10.  Read my review.

Starting Back Up Again

Grandpa and Baby Belle

Started walking again this week. Finally got to a weight where my knees and back don't hurt as much. Still hurting, but still dropping weight too. Phentermine that my doc put me on two months ago, is helping a lot.

I'm grateful to have normal blood pressure to be able to use such a medication in the short term.

Blood sugar is leveling out in the mornings and doing better. Need to curb the wine. That's where I'm noticing the big issues lately.

Fully into recommitting myself to get healthy.

Today I was going to walk, but it's 90 degrees out at the moment and the air is super thick. Pollen level is high and breathing is an issue for me the opening month of Summer. So; what to do? Swimming. The pool is open. It's great for me to do some pool aerobics. Why not. :)  Looking forward to hitting the pool.

I have some video editing projects to complete and kick off this evening. One is for a CDE who is putting together program and showing what artists and musicians do to express their diabetes. I am grateful to be apart of the project. It gives me the ability to share my artwork, my music and my animations that I have worked on over the years.

Will be posting more regularly, now that I've pulled my proverbial head out of my butt.

Everyone have a peaceful and active day!

Again, I forge onward.

It's lunchtime on the 12th of March. My step-son's birthday is today. Looking forward to doing Medieval Times again for both boy's birthday celebrations. Winter has come and thankfully gone. Not much to do but stay in doors and eat this winter. Where does that get you? 354 pounds and a high daily blood glucose level. Yep, it's time to pick up the pieces and forge onward and upward. I blew the dust off MyFitnessPal, opened up MapMyWalk and walked .77 miles today, .5 yesterday.

The problem I have is working through immense back pain a quarter mile in from the weight I'm carrying in front. I need to walk though, so I'll start off small and go from there. I want to be up to walking a mile by Monday or Tuesday next week and then up to two miles by the end of March. I want to walk downtown this summer and walk some Diabetes support walks and maybe a breast cancer walk or two. I loved walking once before, and I'll love it once again. Mary and I have been talking about joining the AVA (American Volksport Association) and doing some 5 and 10K walks, when I get down about 70 pounds and am able to walk those distances again, is when we will join. It's something to shoot for. You're never too old. Plus, I feel like it's time.

Wish me luck folks.

Stop by and listen to the Musical Relaxation Station if you need some stress relief. We recently went to a self hypnosis class at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Geneva. It was excellent! It is also what has helped get me all geared up for a change for the better in health. More information on that to come.

Like before, I've always said I'd post my stories here. And I'll hopefully be more regular in that respect. For now, everyone have a peaceful day. Get out and walk! It's beautiful outside and Spring is in the air, in some parts of the country. I know outside of Chicago its a warm welcome. :)

Dave

Time passes by...

3 months ago I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.  I've looked at it as a wake up call.  I've done some changes to diet and exercise regimens, I have even gone to classes for Diabetes Education and have also been reading like a madman.  For all the promise and hope of reversing Diabetes, they are all just really the ability to stave off the inevitable of having it come back at a later age.  You are buying time for when the pancreas actually does shut down and stops producing insulin.

I pop 4 Metformin a day, 1 Onglyza, 1 Crestor, 1 Omeprazole and 1 hit in each nostril of Dymista (Flonase with an allergy medicine in it for sinusitis).  It is my daily pill regimen now. I sit here listening to Yes' album "The Ladder", with promises of a better day and a hopeful life and love and light and all those things, but it doesn't mean they will come true.  But I would like to believe that there is some moment of peace for me that I have not found yet with this disease that I have.  I've not let it bother me till tonight, but taking the pills tonight, it struck me.  Is this to be the rest of my life?  Popping pills to keep the inevitable at bay?

I have thought of going Vegan, I have read so much from the books "Forks Over Knives", "Engine 2 Diet", "The China Study" and also Neal Barnard's book "Reversing Diabetes", and I have high hopes that even something like this might help. But will it really help me?  I'm not sure.  I trudge on as time passes and pop pills several times a day.

Okay, so I'm not having to wear a pump or poke myself with a needle to give myself insulin...yet, but I know one day it will come.  Some say, "well, you could also get hit by a bus tomorrow."  true, very true, and I guess I look at that perspective as well, but sometimes I sit here and just let it get to me, so I write.  And I share.  Because you never know who is out there who has some of the same feelings and issues based on what is going on inside while dealing with Diabetes or any disease for that matter.  Know you're not alone in that thought.

I've been asked many times now, "how are you feeling?" Not just by Facebook lately (LOL) but walking into the doctor's office, the dentist recently and my favorite, the Diabetes Ed Nurse and Dietitian.  I didn't even think of it bothering me in the beginning.  I was handling it pretty well.  I've been learning about stress and stress relief while researching for my site www.diabeticstressrelief.com and while doing this have been reading about how some people have extreme stress anxiety as it relates to their Diabetes.  Its overwhelming to them.

Diet, exercise, pills, testing your blood glucose regularly, counting calories and trying your best not to go overboard on eating and getting lazy or complacent with your exercise is stressful. You have thoughts of "why even worry about it?" or struggling with your own mortality before you want struggle with it.  Well, the overwhelm has hit me.  I'm sitting here and trying to listen to some positive music tonight and writing to let go of some of this stress.  I've watched some of my videos and those do relax me, which is cool that my own stuff works on me pretty well, but  I had to put on some Yes as well.  I needed some positive reinforcement and some blogging.

If I can share just one thing with people, its to relax and let go.  Writing helps, music helps (positive lyrics or just instrumentals), watching an uplifting movie; for some prayer helps, meditating, visualization exercises...whatever it takes, hang in there for one more day.  Things are always better and brighter tomorrow, but mostly, be in the present moment.  Sit with this thing called Diabetes and realize that its something that is a part of you now, it does not own you, you own it.  You do not have to let it rule you, make you an emotional mess or ruin your vision of a brighter future, because that comes from a place of fear and as it is said in the book "Dune"...

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." 

Conquer that fear and replace it with some happiness.

A friend pointed me to an article that talked about finding the "Drops of Awesome" and to fill up that bucket with every drop of awesome that I can think of.  That's what I have been trying to do as I sit here and write and share.

I leave you with this.  A song from the album that I've been listening too this evening, the band is Yes, the song is from "The Ladder" and is called "Finally".  Listen to the words, very powerful and they help me get centered from the fear that I create in my mind about this disease.  "Finally we've put it to the test!"  One last thing to report, my 3 month check, was great.  My A1C is 6.8 now and that is considered "under control" for a Diabetic.  It was 11.2 when I saw him 3 months ago.

Namaste,

Dave

Trudging Along With Hope and Happiness

Since Dec 7th, 2012, when I was diagnosed with fullblown type II Diabetes, I have been up and down with my emotions and weight.  I'm on four brand new medications, diet changes and tracking everything that I do now (diet, blood pressure, sleep and glucose).  It all seemed overwhelming at first, until last night when I started to see a glimmer of balance and some hope. 

My wife and I went to diabetes education group classes last night and for once I didn't feel alone in the world of my disease.  These were people that were just diagnosed or have had it but didn't have the right education for how to manage it.  Now, not everything the teachers were teaching was accurate.  In fact, we walked away from the clases going, "huh?" at a lot of things my doctor had told us that contradict what these educators were saying.  We just received the latest ADA book called Diabetes A to Z.  I highly recommend it, because it is current and up to date information that is easy to understand.  It's not a huge book either, but it has a lot of great information in it.  

The teachers, a CDE (certified diabetic educator) and a CN (certified nutritionist) are not up to speed on some of their items they are teaching.  So much so, that it is misleading to these people that are in the class with us.  How confusing is that?  How do you tell these nurses to go update themselves on the latest information and literature that is put out by the ADA and stop teaching things that are not part of the ADA curriculum anymore?  So I just have to let that go and hope that these people get some right education from their doctors.  I am going to tell my doctor (since he is prescribing these courses) that these two are not sharing some of the right information.  The one has been teaching nutrition for 10 years and the other has been doing diabetes education for 27 years.  

I'm from the IT field.  Where we constantly have to learn new technologies and upgrade our coding skills when new versions of software come out.  If you don't, you are out of a job or get left in the dust.  These are people lives you are dealing with, and if you don't upgrade your skills, you should probably be out of a job too.  Just sayin'.  

So, we did walk away with some good tips and some not so good tips.  But it was just wonderful to be with people who all had the same questions and were going through the same set of issues and emotions that we all go through when diagnosed.  It was nice to have a group of people to lean on.

Maintaining the new regimen of exercise has been tough this week because I have a nasty head cold.  Probably the worst I've had in a few years.  I found out a lot of information of how our blood sugars get whacked out by having a cold or flu. I did not know could happen, until last night.  So this is one piece of good information that I have walked away with last night.

I have started to use MyFitnessPal instead of MyNetDiary.  The UI is more friendly and the database is absolutely huge! You can scan item bar-codes and set your goals, blog and make some new friends in weightloss along the way.  I've seen SparkPeople, LoseIt and several others, but this works with my FitBit that I just ordered to help track my steps, stairs, sleep and other items.  My software for my Accu-Check Nano came today as well, so now I can hook it up to my PC and transfer my data to the software. 

It's all coming together to help me manage and put this thing called Diabetes in its place.  Gives me hope and some peace.  

Here is to a peaceful, prosperous and healthy New Year for everyone. 

Namaste.

Day 45 - Failure and Relentless Pursuit

Lots of thinking; lots of falling off the wagon; lots of failure; but more importantly a huge new beginning.

Stress can take a toll on your psyche.  Especially when you are trying to make the right choices in your health and diet journey.  For the past 6 months, I've been worried about my place in my world.  The job, the band, the family, and the overall pinch of stress I see myself in.  Stress is all a state of mind and generally its self created.  You can choose to go through life with a calm demeanor; breathing and staying present in the moment, while focusing on your choice at hand and how you can accomplish the goals that are part of the path that you are on at the moment.  Yeah, that was deep and good advice, but sometimes hard to follow when you just get "caught up", as Tony Robbins would say.

The Job:  We've been in talks all year about me switching from being a consultant to becoming an employee full time.  Well, it has finally transpired.  I'm happy with the settlement to switch to employee and I'm very happy to be working as an employee of Wheels, Inc.  The stress?  Well, it was the worry of switching and becoming an employee again.  Would my needs of salary be met?  Would I be working for this person or that person?  Would I miss being a consultant?  I think all those questions have been answered satisfactorily.  In fact, I'm very happy and stress free now.  I can now take on the job at hand and its very exciting.  Stress 1 gone.

The Band:  Questions of our future seemed up in the air the past couple of months, but resolution occurred just yesterday with our continuation and some issues being ironed out.  We continue on and we will be victorious.  Stress 2 gone.

The Family:  There isn't any real stress going on here, other than we seem to not be motivated to stick to our diet and exercise program.  We overcame one very great hump this last week, deciding to re-up our YMCA membership.  Out of the gyms we have belonged to over the past few years, the Y seems to be the best place to workout.  Mary can still swim and I can walk the indoor track upstairs while she does the elliptical.  I can ride the StarTrack bike that I really like and start lifting weights again.  Stress 3 gone.

The main stresses are gone.  So what's the hang up?  Will power.  Plain and simple, getting motivated once again.  I have found music that is motivating me.  Not just for writing music, but motivating me to want to work out and do better for myself.  It is called Epic Score.  What is that?  Think of a movie trailer.  The epic quality of the music to bring you to a fervor and excitement within 2 minutes time.  To show the grand vision of the film you will definitely want to see in the future.  There are so many who write this style of music, but my favorites are Jo Blankenburg, Two Steps From Hell (Nick Phoenix and Thomas Bergersen) and Jennifer Thomas.  There are many others out there under various labels like Brand X Music and Future World Music.

I need to bring another person into play here as well: CJ Ortiz - The Metal Motivator!   CJ has some of the best common sense motivational techniques I have ever heard.  No BS and nothing but truth in your face in a Heavy Metal way.  As he said this morning on his Facebook post "I'm just a guy with a camera and a keyboard" oh, but CJ, you're so much more than that.   I watch and read his posts all the time.  Most of the time, its just what I need to hear.

So, I'm packing up my phone with Epic Score today and getting ready to plant my feet on the ground and seek the relentless pursuit of getting this weight off of me and getting healthy again. I'm embedding some video below of some great pieces from the artists I've mentioned above and CJ Ortiz who resembles one of my favorite songs by Triumph, "Fight the good fight every moment!  Every minute, Everday!!!!!  Fight the good fight every moment, it's your only way!"

Rock On!

Jennifer Thomas





Two Steps From Hell








Jo Blankenburg





CJ Ortiz - The Metal Motivator